Search - Mortician :: Chainsaw Dismemberment

Who said mortician are trying to make music?

Brent Heigold | 09/14/2005

(5 out of 5 stars)

"Mortician do not make "music". They produce proffesional, inhumane, evil noise. Noise that is totally fun to listen to. The perfect c.d. to crank when you go houseboating with your friends. DECIMATE every other boat on the lake.



Mortician's philosophy is simple. "Music? EVERYONE makes music, that's lame".



Furthermore, anyone can get together with a Pro Tools pc, and just program a drum machine as fast as it will go, growl and play with totally downtuned guitars, but to get it to sound as disturbing and wreckless as Mortician?



No way. Mortician are total professionals. They make noise like no-one else.



Mortician are not trying to fool anyone. They are not trying to convince anyone that they have talent. They are trying to make your speakers (and your head) explode. And I say that's a noble goal.



That being said, Mortician are the AC/DC of death metal. They rock. Totally fun to listen to, especially with the bad B-movie horror samples.



Appreciating them is more of an intellectual thing, you have to have that kind of a sense of humor (and no they are not a joke, its not that easy).



I would advise anyone to buy a mortician c.d.



The noisier, the more down-tuned, the stupider, and in general the more completely ***king unlistenable, the BETTER.



BUY THIS C.D. YOU WON'T BE DISSAPOINTED.

"

A total dissapointment!

jjquantz | cuernavaca, morelos Mexico | 05/06/2000

(1 out of 5 stars)

"This is the first Mortician album I bought and I think it is also the last one.This is the worst metal album I have heard it is awful ! .The music of the 28 tracks is the same ,the vocals are horrible you cannot understand or hear what is the singer trying to say you just hear some moans.and I think my 7 year old brother could play better music the guys who play the guitar and bass don't have any idea of what deathmetal is .This is the lowest quality metal band in the world.This guys should quit music and start working in something else.I you want real metal should buy something of Slayer, Cannibal Corpse or Exhumed.If you buy this cd it is at your own risk!"

HAHAHAHAHA-what a f-ckin' joke!

sadistik | Monrovia, CA United States | 04/10/2000

(1 out of 5 stars)

"These guys have (unfortunately) been around for quite awhile now. They have started building quite a rep in the underground for their "music". How they built this reputation is beyond me. When I first heard these guys several years ago I figured they were so bad they'd disappear. I was wrong. Will Rahmer and friends have released what, for all intents and purposes, sounds like the same album over and over again, only with different cheesy artwork each time. I consider myself an excellent guitar player who understands what it takes to play technical death metal, straight ahead brutal death, etc., but these guys sound like a blind kid with no hands is trying to play a guitar over an awfully programmed drum machine. The vocals are hysterical. The guy (I guarantee) is not saying what the lyrics say he is. He is making indecipherable grunts and probably writes the lyrics later. What a joke. The only people (as far as I can figure) who buy this are Korn fans trying to scare their parents even more! Hail Carcass. Hail Krisiun. Hail Emperor. Hail Dying Fetus. Hail Darkthrone. Hail Death. Hail Abramelin. F-ck this sh-t though. A disgrace to metal!"