Search - David Hasselhoff :: Watch Out for

Is there anything he cant do?

Erik J. Knooihuizen | San Diego, CA | 02/10/2005

(5 out of 5 stars)

"David Hasselhof. Just the name alone brings to mind great leaders. He is the modern day renaissance man of music. His tecnique rewrote the books on not only the physics of how the wave-form is shaped, but soo much more. He tells tales of love and tragedy. He performs the ritual slam dance with funk fusion ferocity on your ears with his hypnotic musical trance. If you play Watch Out for David Hasselhof 4 times slower than normal it plays the forbidden Zulu tribe dance of love. If you dance this dance in the dead of night under a full moon, every person of the opposite sex is like soft home churned butter to your extremely hot butter knife of lust. In my post-Hasselhof life my hair ony grows long in the back giving me the Hassle-Mullet of intelligence and power I have dreamed of. Always perfectly permed and invariably sweet smelling. This means that when the David Hasselhof sound waves hit me, it changed the DNA structure of my body. This means that instead of stem cell research all we need to do is figure out what amplitude and what track to play for a particular ailment. I would advise that any kind of cancer could be cured by playing Night Rocker. This could be a great alternative to radiation therapy. I think that if we can get scientist invloved with my theory of Hassel-Genetics we can find that David Hasselhofs music is good for much more than making girls underwear react to gravity 20 times greater than other objects."

Battered badger brains

J. Greenfield | UK | 08/08/2003

(5 out of 5 stars)

"Early morning I wake up and focus my eyes on the giant 10 by 6 poster of Him, the mulleteering monarch, the keeper of world harmony, gazing benevolantly down from the ceiling. I am too excited to breathe as I load the CD into by 100W ghettoblaster. I change into leathers and adjust my eyebrows and hassle-bouffant, then I take a big lungfull of crack-cocaine before hitting the mean streets with the blaster perched nonchalently on my shoulder, belting out at full volume his commanding voice. "Hotshot City" is a particular favorite and always gets me in the mood, although unfortunately it isn't on this compilation. With the hassle-swagger in full effect and a big eager grin on my face I cut a swathe through the morning melee of small-town shoppers and often stop to rugby tackle the odd security guard baywatch-stylee. I often get abuse but I just stare back at the misguided killjoy accosting me and give him the Hassle-trying-to-raise-one-eyebrow-but-cant look and they soon back off. I believe this excersize contributes a great deal to my general equilibrium and everyone should try it."

Fluffy fun for everyone

pandapower | 12/08/2002

(5 out of 5 stars)

"If like me your little fluffy ears pricked up the first time you heard opening synth and the cold rasping vocals 'Looking For Freedom', well what would you say if i told you there was a recording with 4 yes FOUR different versions on it? "Bear, you have been eating stale beans and sniffing petrol fumes!" i hear you cry.
Wait what is this? 'Watch Out for David Hasselhoff' contains 4 versions this classic tune. Prince sang '..let's party like it 1999', but Herr Hasslehoof goes one better with a slamming funking speed garage version in the Millenium Hit Mix of Looking For Freedome.
[Did you notice the clever wordplay of 'freedome' as in 'Free the Millenium Dome from tony blair and his cronies' unfortunately foney bear was so outraged that a hero and inspiration of his was advising him on policy that he gave it to a few mates to develop into housing and in return they bung him a backhander.
Still apart from that and some apartments bought on the cheap in Bristol with his 'striking' wife - there are no other scandals mentioned in this recording.]
Also worth mentioning is 'Lights In The Darkness' a lament for the glory days he spent with his partner KIT who would light his path with a eerie red horizonal strobing light.
Set you hi-fi to turbo-boost and listen to this recording reasonably loud (although not to disturb the neighbours)
Just a shame there is no mention of the particularly good "Hot Shot City" - oh and Bchiddies can i have some beans please?"