Search - Austin Lounge Lizards :: Never an Adult Moment

Lyrics Lead to Laughs in Lounge Lizards Latest Lollapalooza!

David Zimmerman | Baton Rouge, LA USA | 09/13/2000

(5 out of 5 stars)

"OK, maybe my title alliteration is needlessly repetitive and self-indulgent, but I was inspired. In "Never An Adult Moment", the hilariously clever new release from the Austin Lounge Lizards, lyrics lead both to laughs and great songs, supported by the Lizards typically excellent arrangements, harmony vocals, and pickin'. The CD opens with "The Grunge Song", a Pearl Jam sendup (I'm guessing..not too familiar with current rock) that includes quiet parts, loud parts, even louder parts, and the "obligatory solo", which is, (you guessed) "needlessly repetitive and self-indulgent."The cover shows the band in a classroom with banjoist Tom Pittman writing "I will not make fun of the President" on the chalkboard. From the middle school perspective we get "80 Hillbillies in a Haunted House", the Lizards' tribute to that sing-on-the-bus number, "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall". In this one we count the hillbillies down from 80 (81 if you count Buck's half-dead spouse) down to 1 as they are killed in various gruesome ways (rats, giant moths, flying knives, etc.) from the time they "started playing Billy Billy Billy Bayou" on their fiddles until the last victims "turned to stone" while watching "I Married Joan". In a final twist, when only one hillbilly remains, their numbers increase. You'll have to listen to learn how. (There's a rhyme for "population" that some day I will have to explain to my seven year old.)As in the classic, "The Golden Triangle", the band finds every possible rhyme for "garage" in the third cut, "40 Years Old and I'm Living In My Mom's Garage", a song about an underemployed artist. He dreams of becoming the Duke of Decoupage with a limo for every one of his "sycophantic entourage". Try finding that phrase in any other lyric, bluegrass or otherwise."Rasputin's HMO" is next. The "historical" figure seeks treatment in managed care (or h*ll? Motto: "Abandon hope all ye who enter here"), where he is told (as the "blood was all around me until I could hardly see") "your plan sir doesn't cover any ophthamology." Tom Pittman's bass voice works perfectly as the downtrodden mad monk.The next three songs are among the Lizards' best ever. "100 Miles of Dry" tells of Hank Card's frustrating search for a beer in the dry counties of East Texas. If you've ever been to such places, you'll cry with laughter. His conclusion about "the laws made in our Lord's holy name"--"if you ask me that's carrying democracy too far!"Following "100 Miles of Dry" is "Big Rio Grande River", a song with more puns than any song written by the Lizards or anyone else. In their live in-person show, Hank and the Lizards explain how the song is the end result of an ongoing multiyear search to find and collect repetitive and redundant phrases like ones such as "Big Rio Grande River" (Rio Grande, of course, is a Spanish phrase for Big River.), and then knit them together into one single song. The song features bassist Boo Resnick (a wealthy billionaire by the second verse), lovely Linda (whose brilliance brightens Boo's world), and "the Great Cabrito Kid", the one lone mounted horseman who steals food (cheese quesadillas), beer and girl from Boo during a picnic lunch outside (by sunrise it dawns on Boo where Linda has gone). The Kid's song "Big Rio Grande River" goes on forever endless in Boo's head. The comedic spirit is enhanced by the unexpected presence of a button accordion.Next, as in "Leonard Cohen's Day Job" and "Truckload of Art", the Lizards juxtapose the artistic and workaday worlds in "The Illusion Travels by Stock Car (Petty/Bunuel)", the story of celebrated Spanish surrealistic filmmaker Luis Bunuel's filming of the story of the "original stock car superstar" (and, we are led to believe, Carolina's biggest fan of surrealistic cinema) Richard Petty. Surrealism and puns follow, my favorite (perhaps of the whole CD) being "one day Bunuel becomes enraged and drives off in a Snit...his tiny Spanish car, and he's mighty proud of it." At the end we learn that "driving fast and turning left" are "realistically all one ever does." Apparently, the Lizards liked the accordion on "Rio Grande", so they put some more on this one to good effect.Eighth is a delightful contribution from new Lizard, Lex Browning. He wrote and sings "Big Ol' Bone" (and plays strings on this and several others). Browning's James Taylor-like voice fits this whimsical tale of a guy who goes to buy his dog a "big ol' bone." The dog runs off with a "poodle floozie". The guy's girl is sharing her soup pot with another guy. Finding out "what am I gonna do with this big ol' bone?" is a lot of fun.Song nine, sung by Conrad, comes from today's headlines. "The Me I Used To Be" tells about a "damn day trader" who thought he was a "corporate raider" 'til the market crashed. Now he's "flippin' burgers for the clown" and not that unhappy about it. This one's not quite up to what precedes it or Conrad's recent efforts ("Love in a Refrigerator Box" and "Rocky Byways" from "Employee of the Month" come to mind.)The next song, penned by Hank and wife Kristen, will make anyone with an out-of-warranty vehicle howl. The call in "Waitin for a Call From Don" is from Hank's auto mechanic, Don, with news of "what the damage will be". Along the way Hank sacrifices a chicken, barters a date with his daughter for a new steering wheel, but suffers with no A/C rather than sell his soul. The most identifiable predicament in whole CD, this song is a scream.About once every decade, the Lizards include a song that is almost sweet and sincere. "Cornhusker Refugee", about a gay Nebraskan in San Francisco, came along semi-poignantly in the '80s. Their latest bittersweet number is sung by departing Lizard Richard Bowden, who tired of touring after nine years with the band. "The Beautiful Waitress" tells the story of a lunch regular on his "last time...passin' through" and his love for the beautiful waitress. Whimsy (as a edible cracker) plays a key role in the song.The twelfth and last title is "Asheville/Crashville". It's a satirical jingle for western North Carolina city. Understanding the references is aided if you've visited the region. Like "The Me I Used To Be", it's an OK song with some good lines ("I Swannanoa where I'm gonna spend the night") but it falls short of the rest of the CD.Hang in there for Track 14, if you dare (superstitiously, 13 is blank). It's a little like "Momma Don't Allow..." from "Employee..." without the polish. It reminded me of those outtake scenes sometimes included at the end of movie comedies. I don't listen to it every time through.All in all, "Never An Adult Moment" is yet another famous, fearless, fabulous and flamboyant production by the famous, fearless, fabulous and flamboyant ones themselves, the inimitable Austin Lounge Lizards."

FUNNY Stuff! (a short review)

David Zimmerman | 02/17/2004

(5 out of 5 stars)

"WARNING: these songs are catchy and will stick in your head! You will sing them in the shower and your family will think you have gone mad!
I found this CD in the trash. Amazing what people will throw out these days! NOT a Bluegrass fan--progresive or otherwise--but I sure enjoyed the clever lyrics on this CD. Easy to listen to and gets funnier with each playing. Top notch musicians. Funny, funny stuff!
Note to self: must stop dumpster diving, must buy Lizard CD's."

Die laughing...

Rob Damm | 03/31/2001

(4 out of 5 stars)

"You know, any album with songs called "Rasputin's HMO" and "40 years and old and living in Mom's garage" has got to be good! These guys don't disapoint! I had heard a lot about them, and I checked out this release first and was pretty thrilled. It's probably the funniest album I've ever heard, and stands up to repeat listenings because the songs are so smart and well crafted. If you like Bad Livers, Lyle Lovett, or even Ween, you'll probably enjoy this disc"